Her Situation

Goddamn I've been writing a lot today. Anyway, I found some good websites in this book called "Homeschool Your Child for Free." Some for me, and a couple for help with Katie's semi-addiction:
>http://www.nida.nih.gov/
>http://www.knowledge.com/topics/overhome.htm

I'm hoping these sites will offer good and useful advice on how I can help her. I really want to help her. She says the drugs help her sometimes, but if this is the case, I'm sure a doctor can prescribe some medecine.

Which brings up another point. Her doctor won't help her out, because he thinks she's a hard-core drug addict. She really needs to get a new doctor. But her grandparents, being their non-caring selves, won't take her to a new one. Which leads to another point. If she would move up here, she'll get the love and care she deserves. But I guess I can understand. I wouldn't want to move away from all my friends and family. IF only she would, though! To wake up and see her every morning would be heaven! I know we'll see each other face-to-face sometime, but to actually have her live with me? And so soon? Bliss!!! If only... If only... If only. Maybe I'll convince her eventually. I know for certain that'd she'd stop doing drugs if she were up here. What with no way of getting some and all. Again, I'll just have to bring it all up when we talk later. Jeez! It's already 2:37! S'pose that's it for now. I still can't believe that she could be here with me, in each other's arms! The mere thought of it is mind-boggling. I will also ask her to read some of her beautiful poetry later. If only I could put her poetry in this journal, then I could read her work at anytime!

But for now I'll just have to settle with songs that remind me of her, and happy times we've had together. Really, you have no concept of time when thinking so much. I feel like it's been days since I last talked to Katie, when in reality it's only been 6hrs. Yet I've been writing for 24mins, when it feels like 24 seconds. Weird. Obviously it is impossible to run out of thoughts, save for maybe an area of thought, such as algebra or some other stupid thing.

How is it possible that two people can be so close, yet so far? My love for Katie makes me want to runaway to her. Though I know I probably won't make it to her, in which case it is much safer and smarter to just stay put and be patient until our time comes. An ew thought: Why did she leave him and come back to me? Does she love me more? Or did he do something which put her off, causing her to leave him? Maybe, and I seriously think this is a possibility, God was just doing His work. Should I ask her tonight? Maybe. Maybe not. It could be a touchy subject with her. Or it might cause some kind of conflict. I don't know.

"Only One" by Yellowcard is playing on my disc. Ironic, isn't it? I'm always writing about my "Only One". I laugh at people who say love can't, and doesn't, exist at such a young age. Why the hell can't it?! Love exists at any and every age. Does someone not love their mother immeadiately after they're born? Granted, the love between a boy and a girl, the love between me and Katie, is very special. But why can't it exist so young. Screw them. I've never been in love or been loved by anyone else but Katie, before. But I know what love is. That's how strong it is. 'Till later.